My LoVe FoR U
~*~ Life's different... trying to view it in an optimistic way! ~*~
^_^ I REaChEd OuT My HaNds... WiLL AnYoNe HolD on To It TiGhT?? ^_^
"Wo Zhi Dao, ZoNg YoU Yi TiAn... HuI YoU ReN DoNg De ZhEn Xi~!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FaVoUrITe
Jay Chou!!! ~MuAcKs~
Thursday, February 22, 2007 Well...Been & back from M'sia.. real hot weather + no hot water to bathe...-.- (water heater spoiled) Haiz...finally, fell ill~ Craps..till now still on & off feverish. Lucky special remedy from "his" mom...i felt better now~! (Thanks auntie!!) Ha..Ha..
Whoa..no really like myself nowadays.. dunno y? Is it the girls thingy again? Mood Swing? PMS? Dunno..can't really differentiate them anymore. Crappy feeling, felt like crying & crying & crying.. DuH! Is it really true tat Aquarius gals like to cry lots lots? Hmm...perhaps? Haiz...been a real loser for the past 2 months ++, guessed not only my frens and "He" is getting pissed... Me too!! Can't stand myself sometimes.. y fall in love & stuck myself in it so easily? Something is diferent about him...something is there which really attracts me.. made me wanna be with him so much! Achieved nothing much this time...only thing i m proud of myself is a found 2 new best frens which stayed by me..through all the sobbings, naggings and story tellings.. They r really a dear to me... so grateful to hv them by my side. 1 of them told me.. which i find it really true.. i m leaving in my own lies.. my world is full of lies... all lies tat i used to console myself.. i'm living in my own fantasy, setting traps & falling into it. Wad she said was darn true... i rather take it easy now, live & change for myself...after tat 2 yrs, if i'm back together with him, its a bonus for me! In this way, i believe i will treasure our relationship more & definately be so much more happier. Rather then changing for the sake of being with him and anticipating for tat 2 yrs. Yea... i guessed this will be the way... Take wads given to me as a bonus & not for granted. I loved it~! Muacks! Love ya words so much gal! I must heal...heal...heal...ASAP! Keke..b4 i start to rot! Hopefully....soon.... Welcome to the harsh & cold reality Jenn! BUT! I still believe.... although in this harsh world.. i shall be my own light, my warmer! =)
Nitey...
[loved you`] at 1:08 AM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 HapPiEst DAy oF ThE YEar 2007~!
On my brithday 11th Feb 2007, was the happiest day. Gosh after all the terrible things tat happened last yr...finally, something fortunate happened in my life.... and they are my group of frens...~! Girls, u gals are the best, thanks for being there when i'm all alone. Being here always supporting me...Love u gals so much!! *Muacks* LoL.. really grateful to god to let me hv such wonderful family & frens!
My Wish came true!
For those who hv wondered whether did he celebrate my birthday with me? Yea~! He did! OMG, u can nv ever imagine how excited & happy i was tat day! After so long, we finally met, he gave me a surprise tat i nv ever would hv dreamt of since "tat day". A beautiful diamond neckless! Its so wonderful... everything was like as though i m dreaming...dying not to wake up, so afraid tat everything would juz disappear! As usual, good times ends fast... dunno when i will get to meet him again. =( Sad though...but i will still wait...wait for the day we meet up again! Eventhough time is nv enough with him by my side... i m grateful tat he's beside me during my birthday. its enough...i'm satisfied!
I Miss u Bi~! (I'll +U +U for the future!)
Well, going back to my hometown to avoid Valentine's Day in S'pore! Gosh, dun wanna be drowned by SG lovers manz! -.-" Haiz...be back only after 1st day of CNY... Will update soon! Nitey! time to slp, waking up early for the long 8 hrs drive to M'sia....(Craps!)
*(Nite Bi)*
[loved you`] at 12:27 AM
Monday, February 05, 2007 Fell in love with a song recently...Britney Spears's Everytime. It really suits me well...relating the both of us...things tat i wanted to tell him. Work...and tests and expectations had really stressed me to the max.. not including the deepest pain in my heart. Did many many things, seems like nothing works at all... striving hard not to give up and definately not thinking about it. Life's short...wanted to live my life to the fullest... experience all the wonderful and painful ways of life. Learning each lesson and try not making the same mistakes again... the prob now is, no more chances given to me... i wan to make it up, i plead for a 2nd chance... to show the new and determined me.. tat's y i want to delegate this song to him... Britney Spears (Everytime)
Notice me.. take my hand Why r we, strangers when, our love is strong...why carry on without me Everytime i tried, as if i fall without my wings i feel so small Guessed i need u Baby.... Everytime i see...u in my dreams, i see ur face...it's haunting me... Guessed i need u Baby...
I make believe..tat u r here... It's the only way... i see clear... What have i done?! U seemed to move on easy.....
Everytime i tried, as if i fall without my wings i feel so small... Guessed i need u Baby... Everytime i see u in my dreams i see ur face...U're haunting me.. Guessed i need u Baby!
I may hv make it break....Pls Forgive Me! My weakness caused u pain...and this song's My Sorry!
I miss u so much...nite Bi (I'm still waiting)
[loved you`] at 11:06 PM
Saturday, February 03, 2007 GeTting to KnoW MoRe... Yesterday was really BAD DAY for me... was really sick with high fever and a bad throat infection. Haiz! Till nite, it got worst... really missed him so much, tried to talk to him but his replies were barely sufficient for me. Sad... didnt know he got a bad day at work, mood was really low...dunno is it because of me tat is causing him to be so stressed. I counted, for the past few months we barely spoke to each other... guess i was really lonely yesterday till i got alittle more into our relationship probs and tat got him pissed. *SoB* Manz..when can i learn to be more like him? So cool, so straight forward and i cant even sense any love and concern from him anymore. =(
Games All the games tat i love to play were gone... my interest in playing them went away together with him. When i looked back.. i laughed at myself, all these yrs wad i so called "interest" changes when i change my bf too. Wad they liked i learn hard to like it too.. till now, i'm alone i hv not even a slightest idea wads my likings anymore. So, turned back to MapleStory...coz this is where i & him met each other. This is where he virtually "propose" to me. I saw our engagement ring.. i remembered on my 21st bday he bought the maplecard and wished me Happy birthday on the mainscreen! I was so so touched...nv in my life would i forget tat moment! How i wished...every yr such special moment can continue on & on....
Eventhough now i focus more on work, family & frens... he is always on my mind...every min..every sec.. wad abt him? (I dun dare to answer this question anymore) Things have changed.. it's not as simple as we hv 1st started.... **I'm scared... frightened...i want him..want him by my side...**
[loved you`] at 4:20 PM
Friday, February 02, 2007 Oh man...
Haiz... down with fever, flu and a bad sorethroat... Guessed i hv made fren with the flu virus. Pengz! -.-" Man...nid to burn another hole in my pockets, i wanna save save save & yet this virus made me spend spend spend! Clinics around me r getting richer...haha! Gosh.. felt so weak now... took me 30 mins to write such a short blog...argh! darn hands keep trembling!!!!! Miss him so... really wish he could be beside me now. (I can continue dreaming) -.-" .....Yea, even a simple msg will do...i'm not tat greedy though.. *blehz* I will update again later ba.. now gotta go drag myself to the clinic....Haiz! =(
[loved you`] at 11:29 AM
Thursday, February 01, 2007 Wads happening...?
Was really down today... is it because of the mood swing or is it...because of him? Never would i wanna live in the past memories, felt lonely at times... Haiz.. keep having nightmares, when can i slp in peace? I'm frightened.. afterall i m a gal, nid someone to love & dote. After all these yrs, i gave all my time to my loved ones...not even single 1 felt grateful or treasured things tat r done. Yes, we had our happy moments... but wad's more happy den u can be beside someone u really loved? I nid air...breathe....breathe.... Jennifer breathe! Kept asking myself, how many times can i lie? Keep lying to myself : "Nah! u dun miss him, u dun nid him!" No...how much i wished tat he could sms me... even a simple 1 word or 1 sentence msg i would be satisfied. I'm clueless, filled with empty hopes... like signing on a blank cheque... can any1 understand the pain?! Been listening to many songs... my fav phrase from a song kept repeating in my mind... the song Ye Xu... I can only say now... Mei yi ye gu du de cheng shou, zhi ying wo cheng xu xia cheng nuo, jiu suan lei shui yan mo tian di, wo bu hui fang shou... Wo na me ai ni, ni zhen de yi dian gan dong dou mei you ma? Qing ni bu yao zai rang wo ku qi... bu yao zai rang wo nan guo le. ...
