My LoVe FoR U
~*~ Life's different... trying to view it in an optimistic way! ~*~
^_^ I REaChEd OuT My HaNds... WiLL AnYoNe HolD on To It TiGhT?? ^_^
"Wo Zhi Dao, ZoNg YoU Yi TiAn... HuI YoU ReN DoNg De ZhEn Xi~!"
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FaVoUrITe
Jay Chou!!! ~MuAcKs~
Sunday, March 18, 2007 Haiz... really hate to start my blog with a *sign*... so many things has happened to me recently, work has not been smooth.. strive so hard, fell ill and yet things r taken for granted. Beginning to felt my existance there is such a burden. Tried so hard to familiarise with the environment..will miss the department if i m gonna leave them. Love the job very much but sometimes we gotta make decisions tat it's against our will... =(
Went to my fren's wedding today...felt so happy for her! Bless u Juli~! Wish ya all the best in ur marriage! Envy tat she has found the man of her life.. when will it be my turn? LOL.. tat seems so far away! When will my prince come? I know someday he will appear... not on a white horse! Its in a car in this new era... *blehz* ----> Sports car i hope! =P Well.... dun wanna TTM (Think too much) later go siao... let nature take its course... life will find a way! Tired le... juz got home, gonna take a bath & rest! Will update soon... (i hope) Hee.... Nite~!
[loved you`] at 10:26 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2007 Just got back from work...real tired, its been a really stressful & busy week. Glad tat things r staring to change now... at least i can manage my assignment better. Hah.. Y r the people in S'pore getting so sickly? Just dun understand...come all the way to A&E just because of a small finger cut or cough. Haiz...
Really miss those times when i can hang around with my frenz..eating, shopping & going KTV! Now, its just slping, eating & working...OMG! damn shagged everytime after work... I WANT MY LIFE BACK!! *sob* *sob*
As for him... i'm still trying hard. Sitting at the void deck with the cool wind in my face felt great... thinking of him. I'm happy with just tat.
[loved you`] at 4:39 PM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007 Do look kinda silly nowadays...on & off relapse of painful memories. Dunno why ppl say tat memories r beautiful in a way.. to me, it depends on how individual view it. Sat quietly on my kitchen floor last nite, holding a bowl of noodles... eating happily & suddenly images of him flashed across my mind. Trying hard to occupy myself with work work work...never have i been so hardworking in my life, requesting for more shifts, working payless OTs. LOLZ... but there r still moments when my mind gets to think of him... Well, really hard to describe the kind of feeling i have for him now.. the pain, love, hate & strangling times are over... only left with 3 drops of tears tat i shed for him last nite. Doing wad my heart tells me to its a taboo for me now! Not letting my emotions run over me...driving me crazy,suffocating me. I must be rationale...the way i m acting in the past is like a little girl, longing for love..longing for someone to lean on... where i thot i found 1, i started falling...hurt myself real deep. Den i realised the only person i can rely on is myself. Always hv to learn my lesson the hard and painful way... There is no clever or stupidity in love..only willingly or not. Tats y, i believe wad i hv done in the past for him....no point bringing it up. He will return, if he truly understands the real meaning behind this story... Sacrifical is necessary to survive in this world.. it differes only in each human being is tat whom u will like to sacrifice... True, cruel world we are living in.. sad to say, its now den i hv the courage to face it. Jennifer has to grow up... no longer living in the warmth of my parent's love... I hv learnt to protect myself...
~Things tat's not beneficial 4 our good upbringing...it's not worth to keep it in mind. ~
[loved you`] at 1:49 PM
Thursday, March 01, 2007 My WoRld...
I was so lost, so confused the day that he has chosen to leave me... till today, i couldn't really understand why is tat so. Used to keep asking myself thousands & thousands of Why Why Why??... no answers...... this only made me more confused & i found tat i lost myself...the real Jennifer. Always believed tat with determination nothing cannot be done... but has forgotten the fact tat in relationship, everything is mutual... it takes both hands to clap. Nothing can be done alone, eventhough i hv strong will & determination. Kept questioning myself, how much do i trust him? So many things could happen within this 2 yrs of our promise... will he be the person tat i used to love? Will i still love him as much? LoL...all these questions are killing me... draining all my energy, drowning me till i can't breathe! Heard so many stories, life experiences & found out many truths of our break-up.. its den i realised tat, i'm exausted... feeling real hurt and numbed. I dun wanna think anymore... leave it be. Be it we will ever meet again in the future, i'll be wad i m now... I'm Jennifer... Silly silly me... i've done wad i can do & wad i shouldn't do at all... it's up to fate now to judge. If our love is so true... we will be back together! Learnt many things from my fren, many things in life we can't keep in our mind all the time, things tat should be forgotten, let it be forgottened.. learning not to think to much & letting things go...make our lives more happier. (got this advise from a really experienced and knowledgeable, 7 yrs fren) Really thank him so much, without these words, i guess i will still be like...ARGH! Can't imagine! I'm done...i'm through....Letting nature takes it's course. I'm so hurt...need time to heal..
